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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970333">Wingless Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tired_bee/pseuds/tired_bee'>tired_bee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bang Chan &amp; Lee Felix are Siblings, Fae &amp; Fairies, Fairy AU, Felix is adopted tho, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Seo Changbin are Best Friends, Light Angst, M/M, Soft Han Jisung | Han, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), idk what to tag, it's just some cute lil cliché filled bullshit don't expect too much from it, nothing serious tho, teen and up for cursing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:07:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970333</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tired_bee/pseuds/tired_bee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Oh my God, are you a fairy?” The human asks, his voice and face both friendly. He seems to mean no harm, but Jisung can’t let his guard down. He just stares at the human and his big curious eyes that are staring right back at him. Something about his eyes looks almost fae-like. </p><p>“No, I’m a hamster! The fuck I look like!?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Felix</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is my second ever attempt at writing a fanfic, english is not my first language and this is not proof-read by anyone but myself... so please if you find any grammatic mistakes let me know! </p><p>comments are always apprechiated :)</p><p>EDIT: I gave up on this fic, I'm leaving it up just in case I change my mind and decide to continue, but I most likely won't!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[Jisung’s POV]</strong>
</p><p>Being not much more than five inches tall may seem like it has its perks, and it really does, if you’re in the right environment for it… However, Jisung is very much not in the right environment for it at the moment, as the unkept wild grass is so tall, he can’t even see the sky, and neither where he’s going. Then again, he doesn’t really have anywhere to go now, so that part shouldn’t matter all that much.</p><p>His situation would be a little better if he could fly like most fairies, but being born without wings, made even the thought of that impossible. He never realised exactly how difficult it is to be a wingless fairy until he was forced to leave the comfort of the faerie realm that was conveniently equipped with stairs wherever he needed to go. Here in the human realm, they don’t make stairs for fairies.</p><p>But Jisung keeps on walking forward, with a little bounce in his step, very determined to figure things out, hopefully before he becomes bird food. He moves the grass to the sides with his hands as he makes his way through, quietly humming a song to keep his spirits up. The faerie realm isn’t going to miss him – except maybe Changbin, or actually <em>most likely</em> Changbin, and maybe Jeongin, Seungmin and Hyunjin too – so he decides he isn’t going to miss the faerie realm either. He has no long-term plans yet, but the short-term plans are sure: survival.</p><p><em>You got this, Jisung,</em> he tells himself, gathering confidence as he jumps over a pebble. <em>When life gives you lemons, as the humans say! Wait how does that one go...? </em></p><p>Unfortunately, even if he wouldn’t have been distracted by trying to remember how exactly Jeongin quoted that human saying, he still wouldn’t have had enough time to realise the impending danger, due to how fast it moved and how small Jisung is. He barely has time to jump to the side, as the boot covered foot lands on the exact spot where he was standing a moment ago. It could have broken multiple of his bones or kicked him in the head, killing him instantly.</p><p>Before he could stop himself, without thinking about the possible consequences of his actions, he hears himself yelling at the person.</p><p>“DUDE WHAT THE FUCK!? WATCH YOUR GIGANTIC FUCKING FEET!”</p><p>He immediately regrets saying that however, but as much as he would like to run, he freezes when the human starts moving the grass and leaning down to see him. His heart is hammering from fear, and his entire being is shaking. According to Changbin’s sister, humans eat fairies raw, just grabbing them and ripping their head off. Is that what will happen to him now?</p><p>He stumbles a few steps back, tripping over a pebble and ending up sitting, still shaking from fear. His fingers curl into the soft mud under him – it’s been raining earlier – and his heels dig into it as well as he tries to find footing, in case his body finally manages to stop shaking and get up to run.</p><p>“Oh my God, are you a fairy?” The human asks, his voice and face both friendly. He seems to mean no harm, but Jisung can’t let his guard down, the fear and adrenalin still running through his blood. He just stares at the human and his big curious eyes that are staring right back at him. Something about his eyes looks almost fae-like.</p><p>“<em>No</em>, I’m a <em>hamster</em>! The fuck I look like!?” He blurts out suddenly, when he manages to take a breath deep enough to have air for speaking.</p><p>The human seems to be slightly taken aback but he chuckles at his response anyway. “Ah sorry, I must have startled you!”</p><p>“You almost stomped me to death, actually!”</p><p>“Oh,” the human moves back a little, giving more space for Jisung to breathe and calm down. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you from the grass! Are you alright?”</p><p>It’s surprising to hear a human talk so softly and so kindly to him. This is completely different from the stories he heard about humans. Not like the stories described them as mean or evil – except the horror stories Changbin’s sister always told them – but they didn’t say much positive about them either. Yet the human in front of him looked truly sorry about almost hurting him on accident, his warm brown eyes hiding honest worry.</p><p>Jisung stands up still a bit shakily and dusts his pants off. “I’m allright… I think…” He’s almost sure no part of him is hurt, aside from maybe his pride a little. His bag filled with some food and small things he managed to pack in his hurry is still hanging on his side, but unfortunately his coat seems to have ripped a little when he tripped over backwards. “Shit. Fuck, this is the last thing I needed!”</p><p>For a second he almost forgets about the human, until he speaks again. “Let me fix it for you! I can sew, my house isn’t far from here, I have needles and threads there!”</p><p><em>Needles.</em> Jisung heard stories of humans pinning fairies down with needles, like they do with butterflies, to put them on the wall. But this human seems nice, and the mid-March weather isn’t yet warm enough to survive it without a proper coat. “I don’t want to… uhm… bother…” he says, as a not-quite excuse, to win himself more time to think.</p><p>“It’s really nothing, let me make up for almost injuring you on accident! Is there anything I could do for you?”</p><p><em>Just let me be, leave, pretend you can’t see me</em>, he thinks immediately. There’s a reason fairies have been doing their best to stay hidden from humans for centuries under normal circumstances. However right now he’s not quite under normal circumstances, and he could really use a hand for getting out of this mess of tall grass and sagging mud. “Actually, would you mind helping me find my way out of this field? I can’t fly, I don’t have wings… And fixing my coat would be nice too, yeah!”</p><p> </p><p>The human’s name is Felix. It’s a nice name, Jisung likes the ring of it, almost as much as he likes Felix’s voice and smile. He seems very friendly and kind, so much so that it’s hard not to trust him too much. <em>Don’t forget, at the end of the day he’s still a human</em>, he reminds himself, while taking another look at Felix’s side profile.</p><p>The human lets him sit on his shoulder on their walk back to his home, giving him a perfect view of his freckle covered face. Freckles were very rare among fairies, almost solely reserved to those with royal blood in their veins, so it made him curious if it was more common among humans. Blonde hair however was much more common for fairies. Felix also has blonde hair, very light though, lighter than what’s common for fairies.</p><p>He turns away again, not wanting to stare so much. Although Felix is pretty… <em>for a human</em>, he adds quickly.</p><p>The field looks even bigger now that he’s above the grass – which is so tall, even for Felix it’s knee-high – and he considers himself lucky to have gotten a lift, otherwise he may as well have died in there, unable to find his way out. There’s a bit of a cold wind, and he’s shivering under the slightly torn and thoroughly soaked coat, but it could be a lot worse. The sky is blue, but he can see dark clouds nearby, gathering quickly.</p><p>“It’s going to rain all night,” Felix says, as if he was reading his mind.</p><p>Jisung swallows his fearful thoughts. He has nowhere to go, he still has to find a place where he can hide from the rain, and he hasn’t even found anything to eat yet. Whatever is left in his bag can only be stretched out for two more days, maybe three if he’s not using up too much energy. “I see. T-that’s nice… for the plants…”</p><p>“<em>Very</em> <em>nice</em> for the plants! Do you like pancakes? I don’t know what fairies eat, sorry…”</p><p>“I… uhm… don’t know what pancakes are?” Jisung is surprised by the question, to say the least. <em>Why is he asking me that? Will he bake me into a pancake? No wait, if he was gonna bake me, why would he care if I like the food he’ll bake me into..? </em></p><p>“I’m making pancakes for dinner! Just wanted to see if you’re alright with that. I mean you’re very very small – no offence,” Felix glances at him from the corner of his eyes and smiles, a little awkwardly, before turning ahead again. “So, if pancakes aren’t really your thing I can still find something for you in the pantry. Like the corner of a slice of bread, or… or something…”</p><p>At this point Jisung is beyond confused. <em>Is this human planning to give me dinner too? After already helping me out once, as well as promising to fix my coat for me? That can’t be… What’s next, is he going to offer me a place to stay at for the night? </em></p><p>Some of those thoughts must have slipped out his mouth in some form, without him noticing, because the next thing he knows Felix is chuckling quietly, saying “Well of course, I just said it’s going to rain all night! You don’t really look like you know where you’re going – correct me if I’m wrong – and I can’t let you die of, like, hypothermia outside in a cold rainy windy March night! But you don’t have to accept the offer if you don’t want to, I mean you barely know me and humans ar–”</p><p>“NONONO!” Jisung stands up on his shoulder so quickly he almost falls, and he has to steady himself by grabbing onto the hood of Felix’s rain-jacket. “I mean yeah… or like no I- like, I mean-…” He takes a deep breath. “Thanks for the offer, I really don’t know where I would spend the night otherwise!”</p><p>Felix smiles and shakes his head. “Don’t thank me, it’s nothing! I’m doing the bare minimum.”</p><p>Jisung would love to disagree with that, but he doesn’t know how true or untrue the rumours are about humans being short-tempered, and he would rather not mess with his luck. He nods then sits back down again, continuing his quiet shivering in the wind. <em>Is it actually luck? Or am I just being kidnapped?</em></p><p>Cautiously he looks at Felix’s face again. And then realisation hits him. “Wait a minute… how come your not weirded out by meeting a fairy!? Like at all? Not even a little bit!?” Now that he thinks about it, that should have been suspicious from the start.</p><p>“Oh, I always believed in fairies! Since the first time I heard about them,” Felix smiles a little. Jisung tries to search for signs of dishonesty but he can’t find any even though he can always spot a liar. “When I was a child I used to leave little gifts out for them, a bit away from the house… I don’t know if any actual fairies found them, or if it was just squirrels though!”</p><p>
  <em>Alright then… maybe… maybe I can trust him. I have no choice but to do so! </em>
</p><p>“Yeah, okay that makes sense I guess!”</p><p>Food sounds nice, and a warm dry place to sleep at too. His coat needs fixing as well. He’ll trust a human for just one night, and then leave early next morning and avoid humans completely from then on. It should be fine.</p><p> </p><p>When they arrive to Felix’s house, he places Jisung on a shelf and immediately starts digging through a drawer, pulling out a box of toys. He says when he was a child he had a lot of small plastic and porcelain dolls, about the same size as Jisung, so he can probably offer him some clean doll-clothes while he washes and fixes his mud covered and torn jacket.</p><p>He finds him a T-shirt, some pants and a blue red and white striped sweater, then fills a plastic bowl with warm soapy water and sets it on the bathroom counter, next to a dry handkerchief and the doll clothes. He tells Jisung he’ll leave so he can take a quick bath and come back in twenty minutes to do some laundry.</p><p>His kindness is definitely appreciated, yet Jisung is still hesitant, slightly overwhelmed by the new environment. He keeps doubting if it was really a good idea to accept the help of a human. He willingly let him bring him to his house and now he’s about to take a bath in a bowl of water mixed with “soap” but he doesn’t actually knows if it’s soap, it could even be poison–</p><p>
  <em>Why would it be poison? He had a chance to hold me in his hand, he could’ve just snapped my neck if he wanted to kill me… </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unless if it’s to avoid the blood! </em>
</p><p>He’s no doubt in a huge dilemma. Felix could be a key to his survival and not accepting his help could lead to Jisung starving and freezing to death in the unpredictable March weather. But Felix could also be the door to death and accepting his help could lead him to end up needled down in a butterfly collection.</p><p>A shiver runs across his skin, but not just from that thought. His clothes are wet and cold, his hair has clumps of mud in it, and he’s freezing to the bone. He glances at the bowl of steaming warm water and makes a decision. Poison or soap, we <em>will</em> take a bath in it.</p><p>He has approximately fifteen more minutes before Felix returns to do the laundry, that’s more than enough time to warm up in the water, dry himself off with the handkerchief and get dressed in the doll clothes.</p><p>So that’s exactly what he does. The pants are mostly the right size, or the very least they fit at the waist and cover his ankles, but the T-shirt and the sweater are a bit bigger than him. <em>At least it’s cosy</em>, he shrugs while rubbing his hair dry. The bath felt great, and now that he’s warm and clean, maybe he feels a little more at ease about the whole situation too. He doesn’t feel poisoned either. Maybe that was a ridiculous assumption to begin with.</p><p>Felix knocks on the door, before opening it just slightly at first. “Are you done? Dressed?”</p><p>Jisung nods. “Yeah.”</p><p>He watches in silence, sitting on top of some small box, as Felix inspects the fairy clothes and decides what to wash them with, listening to his explanation about not wanting to damage the fabric even more. Afterwards the clothes are placed on a towel on top of a heater to dry.</p><p>In the kitchen Felix gives him some tea in a tiny little tea-cup, most likely belonging to the same dolls that the clothes are from. He says it’s ginger and cinnamon, to warm him up from the inside too and avoid catching a cold. For a split second Jisung thinks about poison again but dismisses the thought. The bath helped him warm up for the most part, but now that he isn’t in the water anymore, he still feels a little cold.</p><p>Changbin’s mother often gave them ginger tea after they were outside for too long when they were kids. She also said it supports the blood flow and warms the body. Clearly Felix has no bad intentions here, in fact he’s rather thoughtful.</p><p>“Is it okay? The tea…”</p><p>Jisung whips his head up. “Hm? Oh!” He glances at the mug in his hand again. It’s a bit too big for a mug, it looks more like a bowl. “Yeah, it’s good… Thank you!”</p><p>Felix nods with a smile. He’s setting out a pan and some other kitchen utensils. Despite living alone for the past three years, Jisung still doesn’t know much about cooking, so he takes a seat on the bread box, and watches him silently. Felix asks once again about pancakes, and he repeats he never had any but he wouldn’t mind to try.</p><p>As long as there’s no meat in it of course. But Felix reassures him that he’s vegetarian, so there’s no meat in the entire household. Which is reassuring for multiple reasons, but mostly because that means Jisung isn’t going to be eaten!</p><p> Felix mixes the ingredients in a bowl and adds some oil into the pan, before scooping some of the mixture into the bowl and letting it sit.</p><p>“You put a huge egg in it,” Jisung notes, as he watches Felix discard of the shell in the trashcan. He’s not sure where the courage to start a conversation with the human came from.</p><p>Felix gives him a puzzled look in return, slightly tilting his head too. “It’s just a regular chicken egg.”</p><p>“Chicken eggs are huge. We usually only eat quail eggs. They are like a big thing for like family dinners!”</p><p>“Well I suppose it makes sense… you guys are pretty small, huh!” Felix flips the pancake easily. “I see the sweater is too big, I’m sorry about that!”</p><p>He shakes his head with a small smile. “It’s okay, I like that it’s cosy at least!” To emphasize his point, he waves a little with his sweater covered hand before wrapping it around the still warm mug again. He lets his smile widen a little more when he sees that Felix is also smiling. His smile is contagious. And his freckles are pretty. His eyes as well.</p><p>They remind him of Hyunjin, who’s well known for his beauty and for the number of potential suitors he turns away regularly. Except Hyunjin has black hair, which is rare among fairies and makes him look that much more special – and Felix is blonde. Very blonde. Not the kind of blonde that’s common among fairies either.</p><p>“Is blonde hair common among humans?”</p><p>“Depends. In places like northern Europe it is. Here? Not so much.”</p><p>“You’re blonde though!”</p><p>Felix chuckles as he puts the first pancake aside and pours some more of the mixture into the pan. “It’s not my real colour. It’s actually brown, I just bleach and dye it a lot.” He must be able to tell how confused Jisung is, judging by his smile and the patient explanation that follows it.</p><p><em>Humans are weird</em>, Jisung concludes, after learning about hair-dyes.</p><p>“So is blonde hair more common for fairies?” Felix asks, flipping the second pancake.</p><p>Jisung is starting to get comfortable with the conversation. “Kinda. Like yours? No, but darker blondes and lighters browns are the most common. Blonde hair like yours or black hair are pretty special!”</p><p>Felix seems interested in fairies and Jisung feels comfortable enough to talk, so their conversation flows steadily after that. Jisung answers his questions about what kind of common household objects exist in the faerie realm as well, traditional clothes, the school system, what foods they eat and how they make up for the lack of electricity…</p><p>By the time they’re finishing off their dinner they’re able to share a comfortable laugh about little jokes on the difference between humans and fairies. It’s easy to talk to Felix, Jisung feels like they connect well right away, and if not for the other being a human, he would already think of him as a friend. But he can’t let his guard down too low.</p><p>Felix washes the dishes, while trying to explain to Jisung how electricity works – he has heard about electricity before and the many things humans use it for, but he never managed to find a reliable source on how it actually works – adding a funny childhood story involving his brother and a supposedly out of function electric fence. Jisung makes a mental note to himself about never touching fences before checking if they’re electric.</p><p>But halfway through the second anecdote Jisung starts feeling tired. He rubs his eyes to wake himself up a little and pay attention to Felix – he wouldn’t want to be rude to someone who helped him out so much in such a short time – but he still ends up zoning out and missing the punchline. He offers an embarrassed, sleepy chuckle and a quiet “Sorry!”</p><p>But Felix doesn’t seem to mind it. “You must be exhausted! We should go set you a bed somewhere, so you can get some sleep!” He offers kindly and helps Jisung back onto his shoulder. It’s not easy to stay awake enough to prevent himself from falling down, but he manages somehow. He’s much more tired than how he at first felt like.</p><p>A few minutes later the shoebox stuffed with a warm fluffy scarf feels like heaven, especially because Felix placed it next to a heater for maximum cosiness. Jisung tries to thank him for his kindness again, but a yawn cuts him off. The thought that he has so much more tiring experiences ahead of him when he leaves this house tomorrow makes him want to sleep for the next seven days, but considering the circumstances just seven hours would already be amazing.</p><p>He hears Felix say something about going to fix the hole in his coat, before switching the light off and leaving the room.</p><p>He’s nice, pretty and funny too, Jisung didn’t know humans could be like that. He would love to stay friends with him, visit him sometimes in the future. Unfortunately though, he can’t plan ahead like that. His future is uncertain, and his number one priority should be survival.</p><p>It doesn’t seem like there’s anything to look forward to.</p><p>Another yawn breaks the silence of the room. Jisung turns on his other side and curls up comfortably under a corner of the scarf. Letting go of all the mixed thoughts and emotions, he quickly falls asleep.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning the sky is still grey, but the rain has stopped already. It’s going to be hell to walk around in the mud it left behind, even more so than the day before. With some luck the sun might come out again soon, but temperatures aren’t likely to rise just yet, and any hopes of the wind stopping today are low as well.</p><p>Jisung stays sitting in the shoebox with the corner of the scarf wrapped around his shoulder, staring at the window, even though he can’t see much of what’s outside due to the angle. He’s comfortable now, and warm. But soon he’s going to be freezing, and potentially starving too if he can’t find food soon. It’s not going to be easy considering it’s still so early in spring, but at least he has better chances than he would in January.</p><p>He finds his fae-clothes folded neatly in a pile next to his bag. His coat is fixed, the hole in it’s side has been closed up, good as new. He quickly changes back into his own clothes and folds the doll clothes properly, then inspects his bag. Luckily, it’s sealed well so no rain or mud got inside yesterday, meaning that the food he originally had inside it is still good. It’s not much though.</p><p>He considers sneaking into the kitchen and taking some more food, anything he can fit inside his bag, but decides against it. It wouldn’t be the first time he steals, but from Felix he doesn’t want to. Not after all the kindness and help he received. <em>He’s a human though, the amount I can take is too small for him to miss it</em>, he thinks for a second, then shakes his head. <em>I could get caught! </em></p><p>Instead, he grabs onto the curtain hanging conveniently close to the chair the shoebox is on, and climbs down, hurrying to the door and looking around from behind the doorframe. Last night he was too tired and overwhelmed by the situation to really look around Felix’s house – which was a mistake, he let his guard down too much, but luckily nothing bad happened.</p><p>The house isn’t cold enough to assume any windows are open right now, so his best shot is the front door.</p><p>The corridor is empty, there’s two doors on the left, two on the right, and he’s facing another, slightly open door as well. The corridor takes a turn to the left right before that one. These all must be rooms, because Jisung clearly remembers that the front door was white, which none of these are. Therefore, the way to the front door must be either through one of these other doors, or much more likely: after that turn to the left at the end of the corridor.</p><p>He runs through the hall quickly and silently, turning left and ending up face-to-face with a bunch of shoes on the floor, and more importantly the front door. <em>Almost outside!</em></p><p>But here comes another task… how is he going to open the door?</p><p>The keys are in the lock, so all he needs to do is find a way to climb up to the door handle. His eyes stop on an umbrella leaned against the wall. If he can climb up on it – and he can – he might be able to jump over to the door handle.</p><p>He wastes no time doing so, adjusting the strap of his bag across his chest and re-tying his shoelaces, before finally starting to climb up the umbrella. It’s a bit slippery, but due to the way the fabric is twisted around the rod at least he can grab onto it comfortably. He reaches the top in no time and turns to look at the door. It’s a riskier jump than what he calculated with, but it’s worth a shot.</p><p>But unfortunately, as he’s trying to find a solid footing to even start the jump from, the umbrella moves out of balance and starts to fall. Jisung almost panics, but on sheer reflex, he kicks himself off from the umbrella towards the wall, and attempts to push his pocketknife into the wall, to save himself from falling, or the very least slow his fall.</p><p>He ends up slowly sliding down along the wall, his knife leaving a thin scratch in the wallpaper, while the umbrella knocks loudly against a shoe rack and then the floor.</p><p>He can already hear Felix’s footsteps.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck. </em>
</p><p>“What the he- Jisung?”</p><p>Felix is dressed in looser fitting, probably more comfortable clothes today, his hair is messy, and his eyes look less sharp today – which Jisung doesn’t yet know is because he’s not wearing any make-up. He glances at the umbrella, then at Jisung, then at the scratch on the wall, and finally the door.</p><p>“I was just trying to… let myself out… quietly…?” Jisung starts, scratching behind his ears nervously. He quickly hides his knife back into his bag. “Sorry about the wall… didn’t mean to cause any trouble. Actually, I was trying to do the opposite.”</p><p>This is exactly what he was trying to avoid: Felix noticing him. If all went according to plan, he would be gone by now, without any further interaction with the human. The situation was not ideal at all. Not like he was afraid Felix wouldn’t let him leave and instead would needle him onto the wall like a butterfly – <em>I gotta let that thought go!</em> – in fact he wasn’t even sure why he wanted to avoid Felix so badly.</p><p>“You’re leaving already?” Felix asks, voice still friendly but there’s confusion in his eyes. “Are you not gonna eat some breakfast? Or take some food with you?”</p><p>On one hand Jisung already feels like he crossed the line when he accepted any sort of help from a human in the first place. On the other hand, Jisung is very hungry.</p><p>
  <em>Just a few bites… and then I’ll leave and never look back! </em>
</p><p>“Okay. Breakfast would be nice…”</p><p>Felix smiles and offers him an open palm to climb onto. They go to the kitchen again, where Jisung receives a mug of tea and some leftover pancakes with strawberry jam. Felix says he had breakfast already, and he was doing some reading while he was waiting for Jisung to wake up, so he can offer him some breakfast as well. It makes Jisung feel just a tiny bit guilty about trying to sneak out without Felix noticing. Clearly the human didn’t want him to end up starving, and maybe he would have been worried if Jisung just disappeared without eating something.</p><p>It reminded Jisung to some of his friends back home.</p><p>“Sorry about the wall,” he mumbles absentmindedly while staring out the window. From the kitchen counter he could take a pretty good look at things. Every smooth surface is still shiny and wet from the rain, other things are covered by mud, and trees are heavily moving in the wind.</p><p>Felix says something in reply, but Jisung isn’t paying attention. He’s thinking about the cold, the wind and the rain, the mud, the darkness at night… and natural predators. Four days ago he was nearly eaten by a ferret. He shakes the thought off.</p><p>“You have nowhere to go?”</p><p>This time he hears the question. He doesn’t turn around to look at Felix’s face, but he can guess his facial expressions from his voice. “I guess you could say that,” he sighs. “I mean I do have somewhere to go… outside!” He jokes, somehow summoning the mental strength for a semi-believable laugh, but he quickly stops when the human isn’t laughing along. “Let’s just say I don’t <em>yet</em> have somewhere to go!”</p><p>“Then stay here until you figure out where to go!”</p><p>Jisung almost drops the little mug he’s holding.</p><p>
  <em>I can’t… can I? </em>
</p><p>It’s not a good idea to trust humans, not even nice ones like Felix. There’s a reason every elder fairy he knew told him to avoid humans at all costs. He can’t accept the offer, never, he has to get out and leave as far as he can immediately.</p><p>However, didn’t he decide that his main goal at the moment is survival? Isn’t this his best chance to survive the weather? He can wait until spring <em>really</em> starts and then leave. By that time the temperatures will be warmer, with less rain, and there will be more plants he can eat, and possibly better chances at finding shelter somewhere!</p><p>Accepting the offer to stay here for a few more days could significantly increase his chance of surviving in the wild later on.</p><p>He takes a deep breath and looks at Felix again, who’s still patiently waiting for his response. Jisung was never one to judge people with logic, instead he relied purely on intuition. And now his intuition tells him to trust Felix and accept his offer.</p><p>“Only for a few days.”</p><p>Felix nods with a small friendly smile.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry in advance this update is not up to my usual quality, I'll try to write the next one better! <br/>As usual it's not proofread, so it might be full of mistakes. I'll try running through it again later but feel free to let me know if you find anything mistakes while reading!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>[Jisung’s POV]</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>The plan was that Jisung stays at Felix’s house for approximately a week maximum, until the weather gets better and he comes up with an idea about where to go. It was a safe and reasonable plan, it was meant to work perfectly. He gets food and shelter for a week, interacting as little with the human as possible, then leaves with a polite nod at the end of the week, never to return again. And hopefully never meeting another human again.</p><p>But unfortunately – and unsurprisingly, considering how Jisung’s plans usually go – that’s not what ended up happening.</p><p>He fully intended to keep his distance, he really tried his best, but of course he can’t be blamed for Felix being way too friendly and charming. It’s hard to keep distance from a host who intends to do all in his power to make his guest as comfortable as possible. Jisung thought he would just sit in silence in some corner of a room, not to bother Felix, but the boy reached out to him every time, asking if he would like to watch and help him cook, or if he wanted to come with him on his afternoon walk, or sometimes just asking if he wanted to watch TV with him.</p><p>At first Jisung kept declining the offers, hoping that Felix would stop asking overall. But the questions didn’t stop, and neither did Jisung’s unbearable boredom dissipate, leading him to eventually accept the offer of going on a walk, sitting on Felix’s shoulder as he showed him the field behind the house. Being only about five inches tall and lacking the wings to fly with, Jisung didn’t often get the chance to see such a view, so he quickly forgot about his initial doubts.</p><p>That day after the walk, Jisung sat on the bread box again while Felix made dinner, sharing meaningless conversations and polite little laughs with each other. They ate in comfortable silence, and afterwards when Felix asked Jisung if he’d like to watch a movie with him, the fairy finally agreed, letting his curiosity about the television win over his hesitance about the human.</p><p>That was the start of Jisung and Felix getting more and more familiar with each other, becoming friends in the one-… two-… multiple weeks of Jisung’s stay.</p><p>Because Jisung did not leave at the end of the week. The thought crossed his mind, he even brought it up to Felix, asking about the weather and about how much food the human could help him out with when he packs his bag to leave. The next day heavy rain started to fall.</p><p>He tried again a few more times, but similar circumstances crossed his plans. Eventually on his fifth attempt to leave, Felix offered – or maybe asked – him to stay. Naturally Jisung was hesitant, he didn’t want to overstep any unsaid boundaries, neither did he want anybody’s pity.</p><p>At that time, he was so torn between the two paths, so conflicted hesitant and slightly overwhelmed, that later he wasn’t able to recall exactly what arguments Felix managed to convince him with.</p><p>It didn’t matter in the long run. What mattered is that somehow Jisung ended up staying at Felix’s house, and as time went on they got even closer to each other, to the point where Jisung considered Felix one of his closest friends.</p><p> </p><p>Felix started teaching him more and more about human life. How human houses are built, how an oven works, how the electric kettle boils the water – which especially fascinated Jisung, who still couldn’t wrap his head around the idea of electricity, and was still cautious of every fence, in case one might be electric – as well as things like money jobs and schools, so they can compare it with how things are done in the fae realm.</p><p>Jisung enjoyed listening to those little explanations, forever ready to learn new information. He’s always been the curious type, especially about the structure of things, like how they work and not just how they look. Perhaps it had something to do with him not being able to fly – thus having a lot less to look at on a daily basis, therefore occupying his mind with the mechanics of things he already did saw – or perhaps his mind just naturally worked like that.</p><p>Either way he enjoyed learning about human life, as well as explaining how things are done in the fae realm in return. He told Felix about their connection with nature, how their “economy” functions, what their usage of “money” looks like, and also the way magic works – such as what it can and can’t do – surprising the human with how much more subtle and simple it is than what the fairy-tales say.</p><p>“So there’s no flashes of light and glitter and stuff?” Felix asked one time, while they were sitting outside in the garden, on a windless April afternoon.</p><p>Jisung was still bundled up in three layers of doll clothes, being much more susceptible to the cold, due to his size. He couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous question. “Of course not! Why would there be? It’s magic, not fire! But some fairies can kinda glow when they perform magic… Still <em>magic</em> itself doesn’t <em>glow</em>. And no, it can’t turn people into frogs, it can’t make flowers sprout from nothing, it can’t manipulate water, none of that stuff! Where do you even get these ridiculous ideas…”</p><p>That night they watched Tinkerbell, after making hot chocolate and popcorn.</p><p>Jisung found his eventual favourite spot on the couch after only a week of regular movie watching and kept it ever since, on the cushion closest to the window, leaning against the backrest of the couch in a way where it was still lower than the furniture itself so Jisung could also lean back comfortably. It was also a spot on the side towards which Felix was usually leaning, right next to the cushion where the human would rest his head if he fell asleep during a movie. Which happened every once in a while.</p><p>Luckily for Jisung however they came up with ways for him to freely move around in the house without needing Felix’s assistance to get on and off furniture. He knew how to climb up and down on various surfaces – he needed to do that often in the fae realm too, considering his lack of wings – so he didn’t need help with everything to begin with, but there was still furniture that was too vertical or too smooth for him to move up on on his own. For those places Felix tied strings on doorknobs, or glued them under the edge of the table, so Jisung could climb up on those.</p><p>So whenever Felix fell asleep on the couch, Jisung simply switched the TV off – by jumping onto the red button on the remote, which he enjoyed just a tiny bit more than he admitted – before going back to his shoebox in the bedroom. Alongside the soft warm scarf it now included some small pillows as well, that Felix hand-sewn himself, from the materials he had left after sewing Jisung some clothes that fit his frame a little better the doll clothes. (However Jisung still held on to some perfectly oversized doll sweaters and t-shirts for comfort.)</p><p>Felix moved back to the bedroom once they established that Jisung will stay. At first he stayed in the other room, sleeping on the couch instead to give the fairy some distance as well as the comfort of the warmest room in the house, but after a while Jisung started to find the thought of his host having to sleep on the couch quite uncomfortable and asked him to move back to his own room. The bed was across the room anyway and Felix’s quiet snoring wasn’t any louder than the hum of the old radiator next to his shoebox.</p><p>They usually woke up around the same time, Felix a bit earlier and already making breakfast by the time Jisung still sleepily walked over to the kitchen, poking the human’s ankle a few times to ask to be lifted onto the counter where he sipped on some green tea while watching the eggs sizzle in the pan.</p><p>They did the rest of their morning routines together as well, then they did garden work – well, Jisung was mostly just watching – before Felix sat down to study whatever human thing he was studying while Jisung occupied himself with something useful such as dusting off shelves with a tiny doll sized broom.</p><p>Aside from their routines at home, Felix worked at a local flower shop four days per week in the afternoon, but he insisted he shouldn’t take Jisung with him, to make sure he doesn’t get noticed by any other – less well-meaning – humans, but after a while he did offer to take Jisung with him to the market on Sunday mornings.</p><p>“There’s too many people there and everyone is busy, they’re less likely to notice you than in the flower shop where it’s usually just me and the plants,” he reasoned, as he was helping Jisung climb into the chest pocket of his denim jacket on the first time. “But be careful anyway, okay? I don’t think I’d be able to come up with a believable lie about why there’s a tiny person in my pocket!” Which was very understandable so Jisung didn’t really feel the need to argue with it, he just appreciated the chance he got to go further into the human realm and see humans interact with each other in their natural habitat.</p><p>And the experience sure didn’t disappoint. That first time they visited the market he was blown away by the sight of so many humans walking around, talking to each other and buying foods – some of which Jisung has never seen before – and on their way home afterwards he couldn’t stop telling Felix about his observations. From then on going to the market together also became part of the routine.</p><p>Weeks passed like that, the cold April wind turning into warm May breeze, the yellow tulips in Felix’s garden getting replaced by yellow peonies, days and conversations both getting longer and the two friends growing closer. What started as accepting help from a stranger and staying under his roof for a single night, turned into a long term stay and a connection that Jisung could no longer imagine letting go of.</p><p>But would he even have to? After all Felix was the one who first insisted he should stay, and – not that it’s any of Jisung’s business but – the human <em>does</em> seem a little lonely living all alone in this small cottage at the edge of the woods. Besides even if that isn’t the case, Jisung knows regardless of whether he’s ready to admit it to himself that he would definitely be lonely without Felix, and not just because he has nowhere else to go to and nobody else to talk to anymore.</p><p>So Jisung leans back and lets the time pass, putting all doubts and worries aside, in favour of momentary comfort.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I see I picked the right movie!” Felix chuckles, as soon as Jisung jumps up and steps closer to the edge of the couch to see the laptop screen better. He probably has that specific little smile on his face that Jisung loves to see – despite not being able to figure out the exact cause of it – but now instead of turning to smile back, his eyes are glued to the screen, more specifically to the character in the pink dress, a small wingless but very much fairy-looking creature.</p><p>It’s two o’clock on a Saturday afternoon and they are watching a movie to pass some time while they wait for the sun to move a little lower so they can go outside and tend to the garden. It’s a particularly hot May this year – or so Felix said, but for Jisung it’s just comfortably warm – with not nearly enough rain, so it takes plenty of work to keep the flowers alive. But inside the house the little fan in the corner keeps the heat bearable.</p><p>As usual it’s Felix who picked the movie, this time a cartoon with a similar art style as the one they watched last night, which Jisung can’t remember the title of. Something about a spirit perhaps? He didn’t want to admit to the human that he fell asleep halfway through the movie, so when asked if he liked it he just said he liked the art style… which technically wasn’t a lie.</p><p>“Is she a fairy!?” He asks now, so quickly that he almost stumbles over a syllable. Unlike yesterday, he’s very much awake at the moment.</p><p>“You’d know if you stayed quiet and payed attention to the dialogue!”</p><p>“Well excuse me for being excited to see a fairy like me!”</p><p>“She’s not exactly a fairy though!”</p><p>“Well then smartass, what is she?”</p><p>“A borrower.”</p><p>Jisung can already feel the confusion settling onto his face, before he could notice Felix trying to hide a laugh in return. He tilts his head a little to the right. “What’s a <em>borrower</em>?”</p><p>“You’d know if–”</p><p>“Felix, what <em>the fuck</em> is a borrower?” He stomps his foot angrily, but it holds very little weight. He learned by now that he doesn’t look very threatening, neither by fairy standards and especially nor by human standards. He doesn’t really mind it though, as Felix never really gives him a reason to actually get mad at him, so at the end of the day it’s all just for show.</p><p>The movie is paused, and Felix leans back against the cushion, facing Jisung a little more directly now. “They are like made-up creatures in this movie. They can’t do magic or anything and they don’t have wings, they are just very small human-like creatures.”</p><p>“Why are they called borrowers?”</p><p>“I mean the movie explains it but oh well… They ‘borrow’ things from humans. Sneak into their houses to take what they need then leave.”</p><p>An almost electric feeling shots through Jisung at the sudden influx of memories. His face lights up, and he jumps a little to let some of that extra energy out. “Oh, I used to do that too!” He nearly shouts, without even thinking his words and their implications through first.</p><p>On the other side of the couch Felix gives him a sceptical look, mixed with slight confusion, but he leans closer curiously, elbow resting on the back panel of the couch. “Didn’t you say this is your <em>first</em> time in the human realm though?”</p><p>“Well yeah… uhm… I didn’t say I used to borrow from <em>humans</em>!” Jisung offers a sheepish smile, his previous sudden flush of energy now all gone with a single nervous exhale, as the memories settle down a little and let him experience their somewhat bitter aftertaste. He scratches the back of his head. The air grows a tiny bit colder, or maybe that’s just a shiver running up his arms. “I borrowed from other fairies.”</p><p>“So you were a thief!”</p><p>He flinches a little at the word and avoids looking directly at Felix, instead trying to lighten the mood with a joking comment. “Well now that you said it like that, I’d prefer <em>borrower</em>!” But his voice comes out a little shaky. He hopes Felix didn’t notice it.</p><p>There’s silence for a few seconds, but Jisung is afraid to look up and face disappointment again. He’s seen it and heard it already, from Changbin, Changbin’s mother, Seungmin, their teachers, their neighbours, and so on… And even if it’s not disappointment but pity, that isn’t all that much better either. He received more than enough of that from Hyunjin and Jeongin overtime.</p><p>He stares down at his hands playing with a hole in his beige cardigan.</p><p>When Felix speaks again, he’s a little quieter but his voice is warm and sweet as always. “Would you like to continue watching the movie?”</p><p>Jisung exhales, a bigger breath than he thought he was holding. He untangles his fingers from the yarn and let’s his shoulders relax. “Yeah,” he replies, even more quietly than the human, before taking a seat again at his usual spot, eyes once again glued to the screen, but this time in a conscious effort to not look at towards Felix.</p><p>He stays silent for the rest of the movie, but his thoughts are loud with memories he previously tried and succeeded to forget. He felt so comfortable in the past two months, that even the thought of any less-convenient lifestyle seemed nearly absurd. Maybe he has gotten <em>too</em> comfortable.</p><p>Maybe he shouldn’t let himself forget about the past so easily.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It’s a Sunday evening when the topic comes up again, a little more than a week later.</p><p>The air is a little fresher and more comfortable now that the sun is about to set, still carrying some of the freshly cut grass smell – from Felix mowing the lawn that morning – but no longer overpowering the scent of the irises and lilacs. There’s something about the smell of lilacs that always makes Jisung’s quick and witty thoughts slow down and deepen into a topic. And he sure has a topic to think about right now.</p><p>In fact, he’s been thinking about it since the week before, ever since that movie snapped a memory back into it’s place. It started a whole waterfall of thoughts, too heavy for him to keep his head above the surface, almost drowning in feelings he refused to acknowledge until now. He became nearly silent, he noticed it himself, and he knows Felix noticed it too. It’s only a matter of time, the human will ask him about it eventually – and Jisung could feel that time getting close – but until now he let him be, not talking to him too much and only asking questions that were necessary.</p><p>It makes Jisung smile just the tiniest bit, how thoughtful and attentive Felix is. He should have gotten used to it already in the past two months, but it still surprises him every time.</p><p>He snaps out of his thoughts, smile slowly fading when a glass of lemonade is placed next to him on the table on the terrace. A chair creaks quietly behind the table, moving back a little then forward again with one person’s worth of weight added. Usually, Jisung wouldn’t let Felix go inside without him – not even to just quickly refill his glass – in fear of any natural predators that could easily jump or fly onto the table and eat him before the human could return, but right now it’s still just light enough outside. And to be honest Jisung didn’t even feel like caring about it all that much.</p><p>It still warmed his heart a little to see Felix hesitating before going inside.</p><p><em>Seems like he doesn’t want me to get eaten either, I can’t be </em>that<em> annoying then! </em></p><p>“Jisung.”</p><p>
  <em>Oh. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>So it’s time…</em>
</p><p>Jisung waits a little before responding, gathering the mental energy to do so. He turns around slowly, initiating direct eye contact for the first time in a week, as a form of silent “<em>Go on</em>.”</p><p>A few seconds of silence passes again, while Felix scans his face, making sure he reads him correctly. “It’s about the thief thing, right? You can talk to me about it Jisung, I’m not going to judge…”</p><p>“You cannot possibly know that.” His voice is a little raspy, and he’s just a little shocked to realise it’s because he hasn’t actually said a single word in the last two days.</p><p>“But I do. I would never judge you… I mean I wasn’t even surprised to see a fairy, remember? When we first met. So, you can’t exactly try estimating my reaction based on an average.”</p><p><em>Fair enough. Nothing </em>too<em> bad can happen… Right? </em></p><p>“So… I told you I used to steal from other fairies.” Shaky sight. The eye contact breaks. “I-I don’t know where to start… Can I start from the beginning?”</p><p>“Of course. Start wherever you want to and say as much or as little as you want to… I’m here to listen.” Felix’s voice is warm and comforting as always, like lavender-ginger tea on a cold windy evening. If Jisung could knit a blanket from his voice he would curl up in it and take a week-long nap about right now.</p><p>But of course, he can’t do that. Instead, he nods, hugging his knees to his chest, letting out another quiet sigh as he considers where exactly to start from. “I guess you could say I’m an orphan? I don’t remember my father and I only have very blurry memories of my mother… I think I might have had a brother? I don’t know much, honestly… I mentioned my friend Changbin before, right? His mom raised me, so we’re practically brothers, or the very least he definitely treated me like that all the time, and his mom treated me like I was one of her own… but… well…”</p><p>A few beats of silence. Felix nods, he can see the movement of it from the corner of his eyes.</p><p>He stares silently at the water droplets sliding down the side of the lemonade glass. “Eventually I came to the conclusion that I was too much… So I insisted I move out, when I turned seventeen… And you know it’s kinda funny, right? It’s funny that I had a talk with Changbin, and I realised I wasn’t too much, I was just insecure. I realised that! But by then I wanted to prove that I can manage on my own, even though I couldn’t… I had too much pride. I was so stupid!”</p><p>The wind moves softly through the trees and crickets are starting their night concert as the sun disappears under the horizon. Jisung rubs his eyes before they could even consider getting teary. This isn’t something he deems worthy of crying about. He takes his time to just breathe, leaning against the cold glass to cool his thoughts down. He wouldn’t want to get too emotional and tell Felix more than what he needs to know.</p><p>“I didn’t accept help from my friends or anybody. But I couldn’t manage on my own, I couldn’t earn enough alone… It was difficult to find a job too. I was seventeen, no useful skills, no wings, no previous experience with work, no family who’s names I could rely on for getting me a job… I couldn’t make enough money so I started to steal what I couldn’t pay for. Just the necessities though! Actually no, a few times I stole candy for Jeongin… He was just so adorable, I just <em>had to</em> get him something sweet!”</p><p>Felix hums in understanding, the corners of his lips curling into a smile. “Oh sure! How could you resist? Impossible~”</p><p>“Exactly!” Jisung straightens his posture, hands moving along as he speaks, almost hitting his elbow in the glass. “He was like all big cute eyes and baby face, who could ever–” The other’s laugh causes him to bite his words. Slowly he crosses his arms in front of his chest and leans back against the glass once more, raising an eyebrow. “Funny, huh? Mocking me?”</p><p>“I would never!” Felix hurries to say. He covers his mouth with his hands to try and hide his smile but the mischievous glint in his eyes gives it away. “I’m sorry but it’s just… the way one minute you’re all ‘<em>I grew up an orphan and I became homeless at seventeen</em>’ and the next second you’re telling me your friend was so cute it warranted a felony!”</p><p>“Now hold on, stealing candy is not a <em>felony</em>!”</p><p>“Whatever helps you sleep at night~”</p><p>As much as he would like to keep the pout and the sulking up to pull an apology from Felix, Jisung can’t keep an even remotely serious face when the human is smiling at him like that. For a quick second it even reminds him of Jeongin, the two faces blurring into each other, but he wipes the image from his brain before it could lead to any unwanted thoughts about home. Jeongin and the rest of his friends are in the past. Felix is in the present.</p><p>He shakes his head and smiles a little, rolling his eyes comically. “To be fair… Laws about stealing weren’t too tight. There was a lot you could get away with! I always slipped through the loopholes.”</p><p>“Until one day you couldn’t?” Felix isn’t laughing anymore, his fae-like eyes staring at him full of sympathy now.</p><p><em>Fucking mind reader</em>, Jisung thinks. “How did you know?” His voice rings a little sadder than he thought it would.</p><p>“Just a guess. That’s what got you kicked out?”</p><p>“Banished. I’m banished, if I go back, they’ll kill me… I stole a hat. The wind took mine and I couldn’t fly after it to catch it. I needed a new one, so I stole it… They were supposed to hear me out and I was supposed to convince them I’m innocent! I knew that what I did didn’t legally warrant any serious punishment, let alone banishing… But they didn’t hear me out, I don’t even know who they were, their uniform was different too! They told me I’m charged with ‘<em>high treason</em>’ and that if I’m not gone in an hour then I’m dead. I couldn’t even say goodbye to my friends and family.”</p><p>Silence settles again, and Felix rests his hand next to Jisung on the table, as he usually does when offering him comfort. Jisung appreciates it more than ever now, leaning against it lightly, but still holding up most of his weight against the glass. The crickets are louder now, and once again Felix hums back to them for a few seconds.</p><p>“High treason… over a stolen hat?”</p><p>“Yeah. They didn’t tell me anything else.”</p><p>“Weird.”</p><p>Jisung nods. ‘<em>Weird’ is one way to put it.</em> “What about you?”</p><p>“Me?” Felix turns to him, clear confusion written on his face.</p><p>“Did you ever steal anything?” He grins, wiggling his eyebrows a little. However, despite the teasing act, he snuggles closer to the human’s hand.</p><p>“Well, when I was four and my brother was seven, my mom sent us to the store and he bought me a chocolate bar from the change we got back, without asking mom for permission first… We both felt bad about it though and I gave her the chocolate without eating a single bite from it. But she said she was proud of us for being honest and let me eat it anyway!”</p><p>“That’s-… How is that even stealing?”</p><p>“You see technically we were supposed to bring the change back for mom but-”</p><p>“Still doesn’t make it <em>stealing</em>!”</p><p>“Chan said I almost cried about it back then!”</p><p>“Oh for fuck’s sake, Felix!”</p><p>They laugh about it for a little more, before Felix halts the whole topic for a second by asking Jisung if he would like to go inside. Which the fairy declines after quite a few minutes of consideration. Truth to be told, he would love to just go to sleep already, but on the other hand he feels like they both still have something to say.</p><p>So, he insists he’d like to stay a little longer.</p><p>Felix nods, probably feeling the same tension Jisung feels. He moves his hand for a bit to open it in a half circle, placing it around Jisung, probably to shield him from the cool evening breeze a little. It’s not <em>that</em> cold nowadays so it wouldn’t be necessary, but it’s certainly not unwelcome. The very least because the sound of crickets always unnerves him a little, and it’s reassuring to feel that he’s not all alone. Crickets have always been an unexplainable fear of his. Hyunjin laughed at him for it once.</p><p>An owl cries quietly in the distance. Jisung leans against the warm hand around him and lets himself think. He thinks about his friends, about his family, about his childhood and about his home…</p><p>“You’re making that face again.” Felix says quietly, as if he’s trying not to startle him. His head is resting on his other arm on the table, now at eye level with the fairy.</p><p>“What face?”</p><p>“The face you’ve been making recently… when you’re not doing too well.”</p><p><em>Oh. So it was</em> obvious <em>obvious.</em></p><p>Running a hand through his hair, Jisung sighs. “To be honest what’s <em>really</em> been on my mind these days is… well… I miss my home. I really really miss my home… I thought I don’t because, well, I tried to convince myself that I don’t… you know since I’m banished, so like ‘<em>the fae realm doesn’t need me, well fine I don’t need it either</em>’ yeah? But I do… I miss my friends and family, and I miss the life I had there, and the life I could have had there if I wasn’t so fucking stupid and stubborn!” He pauses to take a deep breath, a little more shaky than he expected. “I want to go home s-so badly, there’s nothing I want more than b-being with my friends and family again…”</p><p>Felix rubs his back with a finger as Jisung hides his face and cries quietly. He’s not going to admit it afterwards and he knows the human won’t bring it up to tease him for it, which makes him feel just safe enough emotionally to show his vulnerable side and let his feelings out. Not like he hasn’t cried in front of Felix before, but it’s still different when it’s something serious instead of just getting emotional about a movie scene.</p><p>“I’m glad you told me this, Jisung.” Felix whispers, still rubbing his back. “And I hope it helped to get it off your chest.” He pauses a little, seeming hesitant, probably considering whether to continue or not. “I don’t know what it’s like to be torn away from your home like that, but I do know what it’s like to miss someone, so… I feel for you.”</p><p>For a while even the crickets seem to quiet down, letting Jisung have his moment in peace. It feels good to let his pain out through tears, and Felix showing his understanding only further encourages him to don’t hold back. He’s not sure how much time passes like this, neither when exactly he stops crying. Perhaps he even zones out a little, or it’s just the post-crying emptiness he feels. Either way it’s late now, he would normally be asleep at this hour.</p><p>Wiping his eyes with the sleeves of his thin cardigan he looks at Felix again. “Do you want to talk about it?” His voice is still a little shaky, but it steadies out nicely by the end of the question. He’ll be fine now.</p><p>“It’s not important. You don’t have to-”</p><p>“But I want to! You listened to me, so I want to listen to you…”</p><p>Felix watches him carefully, eyes scanning over his most likely puffy face, tear stained cheeks and slightly red eyes. To try and counteract all of that, Jisung keeps steady eye contact and a relaxed posture. He knows if the human thinks he’s not yet okay he won’t be willing to “burden” him with his own problems, and if he doesn’t talk to him now, he will most likely sweep it back under the rug and pretend there wasn’t anything to talk about in the first place.</p><p>“Fine.” A sigh. A theatrical eyeroll. A smile. “But afterwards we’ll really go inside, no more buts, I asked enough times if you wanna go inside and I’m not asking again!”</p><p>“Okay-okay, we’ll go inside! But now tell me what weight pulls on your heart~”</p><p> “What’s with that wording!”</p><p>“Just tell me, baby~”</p><p>“Stop!” Felix laughs, lightly pushing Jisung’s shoulder with his hand. “You’re so annoying, oh my God! Anyway… It’s no big deal, or like not <em>too</em> big.”</p><p>Picking up on how fast the mood changes, Jisung wipes the rest of the smile off his face. He sits down again and reassuringly pats Felix’s hand to give back some of the previously received comfort. “But it’s big enough to bother you… so tell me! Let me help you carry the weight!”</p><p>A sigh again. Now quieter but deeper. “Okay, so… Funny coincidence: I was an orphan too. And I was also raised in a very loving and supporting family… But my mom who raised me died when I was seventeen. And ever since then something has been missing… Well, I mean yeah, <em>my mother,</em> but also something more… It’s like this weird longing for <em>a thing</em>, but I don’t know what it is! I accepted her death and moved on, but there’s something else I’ve lost and I cannot figure out what.”</p><p>Jisung nods, to show that while he doesn’t quite get it, he’s still listening. He only now realises how seriously Felix has been hiding his less-happy feelings so far, almost convincing him he doesn’t have a single worry in the world. Looking back at it Jisung feels a little guilty about not asking sooner.</p><p>“My brother was already in university at the time, but he moved back here for a year then, which made it a little better. Whether dad was here or not didn’t change a thing… he moved to the city since, I visit him sometimes… I stayed here alone, because the farther I go from here the worse the longing gets. That’s why I study online. So I don’t have to move to the city or commute ridiculous hours a day… Chan and his boyfriend visit me sometimes, and then it’s <em>almost</em> like I have my mom back again, but of course they have to go home. They have their own life after all.”</p><p>“That sounds tough.” Jisung says softly. “You don’t even know what’s missing, but nonetheless it still… uhm…”</p><p>Felix smiles, though it doesn’t fully reach his eyes. There’s something cold about his expression, but only for a passing second. “Aches? I guess we could say it aches a little. Sometimes, when I don’t have a distraction!” He nudges Jisung’s shoulder, his smile widening a little.</p><p>“First and last time I’ll take ‘distracting’ as a compliment!” He replies, offering a smile of his own in return.</p><p>“Good, it <em>is</em> a compliment!” Felix chuckles, causing both of them to finally breathe easier again. As if his smiles and laughs have a sort of healing quality.</p><p>They listen to the wind rustling through trees and insects holding their nightly concert, and just like that, comfort finds its way back to the both of them. Now with such heavy weights off their chests they can lean back and really enjoy the silence one more time, for a few minutes, before Felix speaks again.</p><p>“Let’s go inside.”</p><p>“Wait just-”</p><p>“Jisung I’m going inside right now, but I’ll gladly leave you here as owl-food, if you’d prefer to stay!”</p><p>“N-no nonono, let’s go inside! Let’s go right now! Who said I want to stay anyway!?”</p><p>“Coward~”</p><p>“IF YOU WERE MY SIZE YOU WOULDN’T LAUGH!”</p><p>“Sorry, sorry~”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Can you really <em>never</em> go back to the fae realm?”</p><p>It’s still early in the morning when Felix asks him that, not even looking up from the french toast he’s making for breakfast. He’s still in his pyjamas and his hair mostly resembles a bird nest, but he seems wide awake regardless. Unlike Jisung, who’s sitting on the little doll couch – that Felix bought specifically so the fairy doesn’t have to sit on the bread box every time he’s watching him cook – curled up with a little blanket around his shoulders, hands wrapped around a tiny mug of coffee.</p><p>It’s mostly milk with only a splash of coffee, as neither of them are sure it’s safe for a fairy to begin with.</p><p>He yawns and rubs his face a little. “Felix what is unclear about ‘banished’?”</p><p>“No, I mean-… Is there a way to get yourself un-banished?”</p><p><em>Well, he’s onto something I guess</em>, Jisung sighs to himself, taking a sip of his drink. He contemplates his next words before saying anything, to not make it sound any more ridiculous than it already is in itself. Until now he preferred not even thinking about that option, as if it doesn’t even exist, just to save himself from the crushing feeling of failure. But yesterday night’s conversation proved that pretending he <em>doesn’t want to</em> return isn’t any better than admitting he <em>can’t</em> return, so really there’s not much of his pride left to lose just by talking about it.</p><p>“There is a way…”</p><p>Felix almost drops the spatula in his hurry to turn towards the fairy with a curious glint in his eyes. He’s practically glowing, not literally of course, only in Jisung’s eyes. He can’t really explain it, not even to himself, but Felix just seems so bright sometimes, like looking at a yellow flower in the midday sun; you know it’s not exactly <em>neon</em>-yellow, but it still seems blinding like that due to the lighting. Except there’s no tricky lighting here. Just Felix staring at him patiently yet somehow still impatiently. “Yeah? What is it?”</p><p>“You’re going to laugh.”</p><p>“I won’t, I promise!”</p><p>Jisung sighs. “If I find the lost fairy prince I <em>may</em> go back home.”</p><p>“Let’s do it then!”</p><p>Silence. Jisung stares at Felix with wide eyes as the seconds tick bye. <em>What did he just say?</em> He fully expected the human to laugh at the absurdity of the idea – because it really is an absurd idea – yet he didn’t even question it, seemingly ready to jump into action. <em>He cannot possibly be serious! </em></p><p>But Felix looks very much serious, every inch of his being – especially his warm fae-like eyes – radiating honesty and calm confidence. He waits patiently for a response, eventually turning back towards the pan to take the toast out before it burns, and slicing a corner of it off to place it on a tiny plate for Jisung. “So?”</p><p>Jisung finally snaps out of the initial shock, just when his plate is already in front of him, almost knocking it over as he scrambles to sit up straight and reply. “You mean that for real?”</p><p>“Well yeah. You miss your home, you have one key back… we just have to ‘find that key’ right?”</p><p>“You don’t even question why the prince is gone?”</p><p>That seems to finally make Felix stop and think a little. He swallows the bite of food he just took and looks at the fairy curiously. “Why is the prince gone?”</p><p>“Oh, I actually don’t really know, I’m not too big on politics!” Jisung shrugs, ignoring the eyeroll and laugh he receives from the human in return. “Listen all I know is there’s no king or queen at the moment, a governor is standing in for them, and that rumour has it that all of your crimes will be forgiven if you return the lost prince… There’s no guarantee but this is still my best shot.”</p><p>“Well then why didn’t you say it sooner?”</p><p>“Because it’s impossible! We don’t know anything about the lost prince! If only I payed attention in history class I would at least know how old he was when he disappeared, but even that wouldn’t be much to go by… He could be dead by now for all I know!”</p><p>“Don’t you want to at least try? Isn’t there at least one little clue to start from?”</p><p>For a few moments Jisung stares silently at his half-eaten breakfast. <em>Is there? And if there is… is it worth the effort?</em> He takes a look at Felix who offers an encouraging smile when he catches his glance. As expected, after all Felix has been nothing but helpful, kind and supporting, ever since they first met. Not just his behaviour, but his entire being, offering a feeling of comfort through his sheer existence. Or maybe Jisung is just whipped. It wouldn’t be the first time for him to be so whipped about a friend, especially since Felix is his only friend at the moment.</p><p>
  <em>This is so ridiculous anyway. The lost prince? Seriously? What is this some cliché fairy tale?</em>
</p><p>But regardless he takes a deep breath from the fresh morning air – quickly remembering the breeze form the open window hitting his arm. He readjusts his blanket and looks around the kitchen, eyes stopping at the fridge – an old one, Felix said, that’s why is whirring so loudly – the gas stove, the radio, the digital clock on the shelf, the electric kettle and finally the little plastic toy-cup in his own hands. He doesn’t belong here. This is not his home and it can never become his home.</p><p>He puts the rest of his coffee aside with a sigh. “Well… maybe there is one clue.”</p><p>Felix’s face lights up. “Fantastic, let’s go!”</p><p>For a second Jisung wants to ask ‘Wait, you mean you’re going to come with me? Like, to help me?’ but he bites it back and swallows his surprise. <em>Of course he wants to help</em>, he smiles to himself instead. He wants to thank Felix for it in advance, but he can’t find the words to do so, at least not without risking to get emotional. All he can do is hope that Felix understands him without words for now.</p><p>And judging by the way his smile softens when they make eye contact again, perhaps he does.</p><p> </p>
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